It Was Just a C-Section

Why That Sentence Hurts More Than You Think

By Dr. Santoshi Nandigam | Gynecologist | Birth Without Shame Advocate | Founder, THE BIRTHWAVE, Chennai

 

“It was just a C-section.”

I’ve heard it far too many times — spoken casually by relatives, dismissed by nurses, shrugged off in clinics, and even whispered by new mothers themselves, trying to convince the world (and themselves) that they’re okay.

But let me tell you something as both a gynecologist and a woman who’s walked alongside hundreds of births:

There is nothing ‘just’ about a C-section.

And every time I hear those words, I pause.

Because I know what often follows is silence. A deep, invisible grief. A quiet questioning of worth, strength, and womanhood.

The Unspoken Grief of a Caesarean Birth

Even when it’s planned.

Even when it’s medically necessary.

Even when it saves lives.

A caesarean birth can still feel like a loss.

Loss of:

• A vision she had prepared months for
• The primal rite of passage she hoped to feel
• The moment of triumph she imagined
• The trust in her body she had once proudly held

And perhaps most painfully — a sense of shame for mourning when the world insists she should only feel gratitude.

At THE BIRTHWAVE, my holistic women’s health and fertility clinic in Chennai, we hold space for these stories. Because every birth matters. Every woman’s story matters.

“You Didn’t Fail. You Delivered.”

Let that sink in.

Because birth is not about how the baby comes out — it’s about how the mother comes through.

Whether you labored for hours or were rushed into an emergency OT,

Whether you chose a gentle caesarean or had no time to decide at all —

You did something brave. Something extraordinary.

But healing from a C-section isn’t just physical.

It’s emotional, mental, and often, deeply spiritual.

Why “Just a C-section” Minimizes a Monumental Experience

Let’s talk about what a C-section actually involves:

• Major abdominal surgery under spinal or general anesthesia
• Layers of tissue, muscle, fascia, and uterus carefully cut through
• A baby lifted, not pushed, from the womb
• Weeks of recovery
• Limitations in movement, feeding, sleeping, bonding
• Risks of infection, adhesions, and future pregnancy complications
• And yet — expected to “bounce back” and smile like nothing happened

This isn’t “just” anything.

This is sacred, surgical birth.

At THE BIRTHWAVE: How We Support Women After a Caesarean Birth

In my practice, I’ve seen women struggle to speak about their C-section experiences.

So I created space for that healing.

Here’s how we support it — beyond the stitches.

1. We Give Space for Grief

 Yes, grief — even with a healthy baby in hand.

 Birth trauma doesn’t need to be “dramatic” to be valid.

It’s not about how bad the surgery was.

It’s about how deeply her expectations were shattered.

We sit together and talk:

• What did she hope for?
• What didn’t happen?
• What hurt the most?
• What did she feel during and after?

Naming the pain is the first step to owning the story — and eventually, transforming it.

2. We Help Her Tell Her Story — Her Way

 Sometimes, it’s journaling.

Sometimes, it’s art.

Sometimes, it’s sharing her story in our postpartum healing circles.

There’s no right way to birth — and there’s no right way to process it.

But telling the story can change it.

At THE BIRTHWAVE, we encourage women to:

• Write their birth story
• Talk to their birth partners
• Process the birth in therapy
• Reclaim it with words that honour both truth and triumph 

3. We Guide Her Through Physical Healing — Gently and Holistically

 A C-section is major surgery.

But that doesn’t mean women have to stay disconnected from their bodies.

Our post-caesarean healing program in Chennai includes:

• Scar tissue massage and myofascial release
• Pelvic floor therapy
• Gentle core rehab
• Postpartum yoga and breathwork
• Nutrition for wound healing and hormone support

 

Recovery is not linear.

Some days are empowering. Some days are raw. We hold space for both.

4. We Check In Emotionally, Not Just Clinically

That 6-week postpartum visit?

It’s not just about your stitches.

It’s about:

• How you feel when you look at your scar
• Whether you’re feeling anxious or down
• How you’re sleeping (or not)
• If you feel heard, seen, and supported

We ask:

“How are you really feeling?”

And then we stay quiet long enough to hear the truth.

Because maternal mental health after C-section is just as important as wound healing.

5. We Help Her Reframe Her Story — From Shame to Strength

 This wasn’t failure.

It was adaptability. Courage. Trust. Bravery in the unknown.

 And sometimes, the hardest births build the deepest roots.

 When women come back to THE BIRTHWAVE for their second births — after a traumatic C-section — we hold that previous story gently. And if they want a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean), we support it safely, respectfully, and holistically.

Why C-Section Healing Needs a New Narrative

Let’s bust some myths. Because these are real thoughts women have shared with me.

“I failed at birth.”

 No, you adapted to save your baby or yourself.

“My body couldn’t do it.”

Your body did it differently — and deserves the same love.

 “I should be happy and grateful.”

 You can be grateful and grieving at the same time. Both are valid.

 “Real birth is vaginal.”

 Real birth is any birth where a baby is born and a mother rises.

 

Healing Isn’t About Changing the Past. It’s About Making Peace With It.

 Birth plans change.

Emergencies arise.

Doctors make clinical calls.

And sometimes, bodies take a different route.

 But what remains constant is this:

 You are a mother. You are powerful. You are whole.

 The Language Around Birth Needs to Change

 Every time someone says:

• “At least the baby’s safe.”
• “Don’t be dramatic, it’s common.”
• “You should be grateful.”

 

It invalidates the emotional layers of birth.

 

What if we said instead:

• “That must’ve been hard.”
• “Tell me more about what you felt.”
• “You’re allowed to feel anything you need to.”

 

At THE BIRTHWAVE, we believe in Birth Without Shame.

No matter the mode. No matter the outcome. No matter the timeline.

 

Planning for Future Pregnancies After a C-Section

 

One of the most common questions I get:

“Can I have a normal delivery after a C-section?”

Answer: Yes, often you can.

 

We evaluate based on:

• Reason for first C-section
• Type of uterine incision
• Time gap between pregnancies
• Overall health and pelvic assessment

 

VBAC in Chennai is possible, safe, and successful when done with:

• Respectful care
• Detailed counseling
• Emergency backup
• Deep preparation — physically and mentally

 

If you choose a repeat C-section — we honour that too. The key is informed choice, not coercion or fear.

 

Final Words: You Are Not Less of a Mother

 Dear woman reading this,

 If you’ve ever looked down at your scar and felt shame —

If you’ve ever smiled while holding back tears —

If you’ve ever doubted your strength or worth because of how your baby arrived —

 

Please know this:

 You didn’t “just” have a C-section.

You gave birth.

 You showed up. You adapted. You endured. You healed.

 You are not less than.

You are not broken.

You are not alone.

 You are a mother. And that’s everything.