Some letters stay with you forever: a hand-written note that reminded me why I chose medicine

A few days ago, a small envelope arrived at my clinic. Inside was a hand-written note from a patient’s father. It was the sort of thing that stops you mid-sentence, mid-task. I found myself reading it twice, then three times, not because the words were long, but because the feeling they carried was heavy and luminous.

It wasn’t just words on paper. It was gratitude. It was faith - in medicine, in humanity, in birth itself. It was a reminder that what we do as caregivers ripples far beyond clinical charts and discharge summaries.

He wrote about how their family had journeyed through pregnancy with us. He wrote about being seen, heard, and treated with dignity. He wrote about the same calm compassion in every member of The Birthwave team - nurses, yoga instructors, administrative staff, and the doctor. He ended with this sentence: he wanted to thank not just their doctor, but the person behind the doctor.

That line stayed with me.

As obstetricians and clinicians, we move fast. We balance decisions, monitor heartbeats, weigh risks. We are measured - by outcomes, protocols, and sometimes, by time. But then the letter reminds me: healing is not just about evidence and interventions. Healing is also about seeing the person in front of you.

This post is for anyone who has ever received, given, or needed that small, human gesture of gratitude. It’s for families who want to know what compassionate maternity care looks like in practice. It’s for other doctors who might be running on empty and need a cup of quiet encouragement. And it’s for anyone searching for a gynecologist in Chennai or South India who believes that birth can be both clinical and sacred.

 

The note: what it said - and what it felt like

I won’t share the exact words (privacy matters), but I’ll share the essence.

The father wrote simply. He described nights of worry, the panic the family felt when complications surfaced, and the steadiness they found at The Birthwave. He wrote about conversations that lasted longer than scheduled appointments - not because we had the time to spare, but because we chose to listen. He mentioned a nurse who brought tea at 2 AM and the way our prenatal yoga teacher held the mother’s hand through breathwork during a particularly anxious moment.

Then, the closing lines: how the family wanted to thank me for being a doctor and a human being - for explaining, for reassuring, for staying calm when they were afraid.

I read that and realized how rare handwritten notes have become in the age of instant messages and star ratings. Yet, they carry a weight that no five-star review can match. Because they are physical - someone took a pen, chose paper, and made time to say thank you.

 

Why gratitude matters in medicine (and especially in maternity care)

Gratitude in healthcare is not merely a nicety - it’s a profound feedback mechanism. It informs us about what we did well and what truly mattered to a patient or family. For clinicians, that feedback can be nourishing, guiding our practice toward empathy as much as excellence.

Here are three reasons why gratitude matters - especially in childbirth care:

1. It acknowledges human connection. Birth is intimate. Families entrust us with their most vulnerable hours. A note that recognizes the person behind the clinician acknowledges that relationship.

2. It counterbalances burnout. Clinician burnout is real. A sincere message of thanks can act as emotional fuel - not solving systemic problems, but reminding us why we started.

3. It reinforces patient-centred care. When patients highlight the moments that mattered (a calm voice, a clear explanation, presence), it helps care teams identify what to do more of.

Beyond that, gratitude has measurable health benefits: it improves patient satisfaction, deepens trust, and in teams - it increases cohesion. In a maternity setting, where fear and joy coexist, gratitude becomes a gentle bridge between clinical skill and human tenderness.

 

The ripple effect: how a single note transforms a team

That note didn’t just touch me. I shared it (anonymously) with the team. The response was immediate: quiet smiles, a few damp eyes, and a renewed sense of purpose. The nurses said they felt seen. The yoga instructor told me she felt validated. The administrative staff who usually work behind the scenes said they felt proud.

When gratitude flows back to a team, the effect is practical and spiritual.

• Practical: It improves morale, reduces turnover, and reminds team members of the impact of small acts - like sitting an extra five minutes with a worried partner or repeating an explanation in simpler terms.

• Spiritual: It roots us. It reminds us that medicine is not just applied science; it is relational art.

This is why patient testimonials matter not only for marketing, but for clinical culture. They tell us what patients valued. They show what interventions - clinical or human - made a difference.

 

Stories within stories: micro-moments families remember

If you ask any parent what helped them the most during pregnancy and birth, often they won’t name a test or a procedure. They’ll point to micro-moments: the way a nurse held a phone so a partner could hear the baby’s heartbeat from abroad, the clinician who explained a complex risk with a simple metaphor, or the midwife who suggested a position that eased labour pain.

These small moments are powerful for three reasons:

1. They humanize care. Clinical competence matters, but so does how that competence is delivered. A calm voice can be as therapeutic as a medicine.

2. They create memory anchors. In distressing times, families hold on to simple anchors - a touch, a word, a gesture. These shape their entire birth memory.

3. They build trust for future interactions. Positive micro-moments are the seeds of long-term therapeutic relationships.

In my practice, I collect these stories. Not because I want testimonials, but because they teach me what works. They refine how we train staff, run workshops, and design spaces. They teach us to value small acts of presence.

 

How to cultivate a culture where notes like this happen

If you run a clinic or work in maternity care and you want families to feel seen enough to write such notes, here are practical steps that helped us at The Birthwave:

1. Train for empathy, not just protocols. Include communication skills, active listening, and debriefing techniques in staff training. Roleplay difficult conversations.

2. Design appointment time with buffer zones. Overbooked schedules kill empathy. If possible, build small buffer times that let clinicians pause and connect.

3. Normalize follow-up. A simple phone call after a tricky appointment or a 24-hour check can turn anxiety into trust.

4. Celebrate small acts. Recognize team members who go the extra mile. Share patient-praise in meetings - it reinforces desirable behaviours.

5. Invite patient feedback in multiple formats. Not everyone writes letters. Offer short surveys, voice notes, or an “I want to say thanks” box.

6. Create supportive rituals. At The Birthwave, we start team huddles with one ‘gratitude share’ - a minute where someone mentions something they appreciated the previous day.

These aren’t expensive or complicated interventions. They’re cultural choices that make compassion sustainable.

 

For families: how to notice and name the care that mattered

If you’re expecting, or you’ve recently given birth, and you want to express gratitude, here are ideas that honour both your story and the staff:

• Write a short note (email, card, or message). Specificity matters: mention a name, a time, and what they did.

• Share a short testimonial with the clinic. This helps other families and supports the team.

• Return with a treat - cookies for the nurses’ station or a plant for the waiting area (ask first).

• Recommend the clinic to friends and family. Word-of-mouth is powerful.

• Volunteer time for patient peer groups if you have the bandwidth. Peer support is invaluable.

Gratitude given thoughtfully nourishes both giver and receiver.

 

When gratitude is hard to express - and why that’s okay

Not all experiences in healthcare lead to gratitude. Some families leave with questions, unfinished grief, or trauma. If gratitude feels impossible, that’s valid too. And clinicians need to hold space for that honesty.

Healing relationships are built when clinicians listen to dissatisfaction with the same attention they give praise. If a family shares a critique, treat it as a gift. The response should be open, curious, and oriented toward repair.

 

The science of gratitude - in brief

If you prefer data: studies show that gratitude practices in healthcare environments can reduce staff burnout and improve patient satisfaction scores. For patients, expressing gratitude is associated with improved psychological wellbeing, reduced depressive symptoms, and stronger social bonds.

But underlying all the numbers is the simple truth: gratitude is relational. It closes loops. It acknowledges care received and reaffirms the humanity on both sides of the bedside.

 

A clinician’s reflection: the person behind the white coat

That father’s closing line - “thank you to the person behind the doctor” - made me sit with a question: who am I beyond my certifications?

I am a mother, a reader of quiet things, someone who still believes in listening. That overlap between personal life and professional role matters. It shapes how I talk to families, how I understand fear, and ultimately, how I practice.

When patients recognize the person behind the doctor, they recognize humility: the admission that we don’t simply “fix problems,” we accompany people through fragile, meaningful chapters of life.

That recognition is not flattering; it is grounding. It reminds me of the moral architecture of medicine - that competence without compassion is incomplete.

 

How The Birthwave responds to gratitude: tangible steps

When we receive notes like this, we do four things:

1. Share it with the team (with consent) - small victories should be known.

2. Reflect in a team meeting - what was done that mattered? How can we systematize it?

3. Send a personalized thank-you back - expressing appreciation for their trust, and offering further support.

4. Integrate lessons learned - adapt protocols or trainings if needed.

This process ensures gratitude doesn’t remain an isolated moment, but becomes a vector for continuous improvement.

 

For fellow doctors: why you should keep writing (and keep reading)

If you are a clinician and feel worn out, keep this in mind: the small notes are not fairy dust - they are evidence of impact. Hold onto them. Revisit them. Build rituals that remind you why you chose this path.

And when you have moments of doubt, read patient notes. Let them remind you that even in difficult systems, your presence matters.

 

Practical takeaway - how to make gratitude part of your care process

If you want a simple checklist you can adopt immediately, here it is:

• Start each clinic day with a one-minute intention-setting exercise.

• Add a single question to your discharge process: “Was there anything we did that mattered to you today?”

• Create a “gratitude wall” (digital or physical) where anonymized thank-you notes can be displayed.

• Send one follow-up call or message within 72 hours after a significant visit or birth.

• Hold monthly staff moments to share patient praises and lessons.

Small, consistent acts build cultures where meaningful notes are not rare miracles - they’re expected outcomes.

 

Closing: thank you, for trusting us with your beginnings

To the father who wrote that letter: thank you. Your words held more than appreciation; they held a mirror. They showed us what our work looks like when it’s done with attention, tenderness, and competence.

To every family who has ever trusted us - thank you. To every clinician who shows up even when the hours are long - thank you.

If you’re reading this and wondering whether a small gesture matters: it does. A hand-written note, a message, a return visit - these are not trivial. They are part of the intimate economy of care.

If you have a story about a note, a patient thank-you, or a small act that reminded you why you do what you do - share it below. Your story will likely become someone else’s lifeline.

Book a consultation / Connect with The Birthwave (Chennai, South India, India)

If you are looking for compassionate maternity care in Chennai, South India, or anywhere in India, and you want a team that treats birth as both safe medicine and sacred work, we’re here.

Book a consultation with Dr. Santoshi Nandigam at The Birthwave - Holistic Women’s Health & Integrative Fertility Centre, Chennai. We’ll listen first, assess carefully, and plan together.

👉 Book your consultation - The Birthwave, Chennai

📧 thebirthwave@gmail.com | ☎️ +91 9363031925