I Wasn’t Always This Patient — But Gynecology Changed Me

 I Wasn’t Always This Patient - But Gynecology Changed Me

I have never been this patient in my life.

And that might surprise many of you reading this - especially those who know me now as a calm, centered gynecologist and founder of a holistic wellness clinic in Chennai. But let me tell you the truth - patience did not come naturally to me.

In fact, before I started my post-graduation in gynecology, I was the exact opposite.

Driven. Restless. Addicted to instant results. I thrived on achievement, linear progress, and a fast pace. The unpredictability of life made me deeply uncomfortable. I wanted answers. And I wanted them fast. 

Life of a Surgeon : 

Every surgeon goes through phases of learning - making mistakes - sprinting - mastering - finding ikigai. 

The phase is learning - everything seems very inquisitive, you wanna know everything. The anatomy excites you, complications scare you but you wish for a complication so you can learn how to manage and there’s always your senior to help. There’s also the pressure of performing better than your colleagues, iykyk. 

The phase of making mistakes - early in your career, mostly after post graduation. In a short time you’ll exactly learn what not to do, with these mistakes. There’s no help. You gotta figure things out. 

The phase of sprinting - you know you’re good. And you wanna finish it quick. And take pride in the duration of surgery? Oh yeah, this is the most adrenalin loaded phase. 

The phase of mastering - you slow down. Duration seldom matters. It’s the sense of completion & closure. Young surgeons call you for help. Cuz they know you’re good. And you’ve seen it all. 

Finding ikigai - you settle down. It’s the new families walking to your clinic saying they’ve been referred by an old patient of yours who you operated for something serious. This phase takes time. But lasts forever. 

The Irony of Patience in Gynecology

Life inside a labor room - has its own rhythm.

And in that sacred space, you either fight it, or you grow with it.

It’s funny, isn’t it? You’ll often hear people say, “You lose your patience after joining gynecology.”

The long hours.

The midnight emergencies.

The emotional weight of fertility failures.

The unpredictability of labor.

The constant decision-making between risk and reward.

And while all of that is true - for me, gynecology didn’t take away my patience. It taught me what true patience really is.

It wasn’t a sudden transformation.

It didn’t happen overnight.

It happened in layers - in the quiet, raw, intensely human moments that define this profession.

Learning Patience in the Labor Room

The labor room is where patience is no longer optional. It becomes a sacred skill.

• You can’t rush a woman’s labor.

• You can’t predict how her body or baby will respond to labor progression.

• You can’t always give her an exact hour she will deliver.

You wait.

You observe.

You hope.

You watch her trust you, and in turn, you begin to trust the process more than you ever imagined possible.

I’ve waited for hours on end watching a mother move through waves of pain, exhausted and vulnerable, and yet resilient. 

I’ve seen birth unfold beautifully just moments before I was about to intervene.

And in those moments, I learned that doing “nothing” is sometimes doing everything.

Reproductive Medicine and IVF: Patience in Science and Soul

In my work with couples undergoing IVF in Chennai, the word “waiting” becomes part of their vocabulary - and mine.

Waiting for follicular growth.

Waiting for beta-hCG results.

Waiting for implantation.

Waiting for hope to finally bear fruit.

No textbook teaches you how to sit with a couple after their second failed IVF cycle and still help them believe.

No manual tells you how to handle the silence in the room when the result is negative after weeks of injections, scans, and financial investment.

And that’s where patience takes on a whole new meaning - it’s no longer just clinical. It becomes deeply emotional.

You’re holding space for someone’s broken hope while gently rebuilding it with science and compassion.

That’s what our work at my integrative fertility centre in Chennai stands for - a blend of science, soul, and stamina.

The Emotional Layers of Women’s Health

Women’s health is not just biological. It’s emotional. Cultural. Social. Deeply personal.

Whether it’s a young woman coming to terms with a PCOS diagnosis, a mother of two trying to conceive again at 40, or a newly married girl experiencing pain during intercourse - they all walk in carrying their unique baggage.

And I’ve learned that you can’t fast-forward healing.

You can’t rush a woman to feel “okay” about her changing body.

You can’t force acceptance over loss.

You can’t make her “move on” from a miscarriage before she’s ready.

What you can do -and what I’ve learned to do - is sit with them in their discomfort.

To listen without fixing.

To understand without judgment.

To give time without pressure.

That’s patience too. And sometimes, it’s harder than performing a complex procedure.

A Message to Young Doctors and Aspiring Gynecologists

If you’re a young gynecologist, especially a woman, you may feel like you’re expected to know everything, do everything, and be everything -all at once.

But let me tell you this:

Your most powerful tool won’t be your stethoscope. It will be your ability to sit quietly at 3 a.m., trusting your instinct, waiting for the baby’s head to descend, instead of rushing to act.

Your biggest wins won’t always come from perfect surgeries or quick diagnoses.

They will come from:

• Holding space for a crying patient

• Choosing a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and waiting it out safely

• Navigating the thin line between hope and honesty in infertility treatments

Gynecology will test your patience - and then, it will reward you with moments so profound, they will redefine who you are.

Why I Created a Holistic Wellness Clinic in Chennai

As I evolved professionally, I began to understand that women need more than just treatment - they need holistic healing.

They need:

• Time

• Attention

• Emotional validation

• A space to be heard and seen

That’s why I built my holistic wellness clinic in Chennai - to give women a space where medicine meets mindfulness, and where we treat not just the symptoms, but the soul.

I believe fertility is medicalised in the recent years and we are never exploring the potential of ancient culture and science. Ayurveda & Naturopathy played a pivotal role in shaping our older generations. My vision for THE BIRTHWAVE in terms of fertility has always been INTEGRATIVE and HOLISTIC. 

At our integrative fertility centre, we combine:

• Evidence-based fertility treatments like IVF and IUI

• Natural birthing practices

• Yoga, meditation, and breathwork

• Nutrition and psychological counseling

• Emotional support for grief, loss, and hormonal imbalances

Because healing isn’t linear. And it certainly isn’t mechanical.

It needs presence, patience, and compassion.

Birth Plans and Positive Birthing Experiences: Patience in Action

One of the most beautiful areas of my practice is natural birthing.

I’ve seen women come in afraid of birth - scarred by stories, media, and social fears - and walk out transformed after a gentle, supported birth.

Natural birthing isn’t about proving something. It’s about trusting the body and honoring its timeline.

Sometimes that means laboring for 12 hours.

Sometimes that means changing the plan in the final hour.

And sometimes, it means teaching the woman that there’s strength in surrender.

And always - always - it means being patient.

Not just as a doctor, but as a witness to the most primal, powerful event in human existence.

The Takeaway: Patience Is the Heartbeat of Women’s Health

I wasn’t always this patient.

But gynecology, in all its messy, magical, maddening glory - made me this way.

It taught me to:

• Trust the process

• Respect the unknown

• Honor the emotional lives of my patients

• Hold back when needed and act when absolutely necessary

Whether you’re a medical student, a patient navigating your fertility journey, or a young woman birthing her first child - remember:

You are not on a clock. You are on your own timeline.

And the best healing - the truest transformations - always take time.

Final Thoughts

To every woman reading this from Chennai or beyond - if you’ve ever felt hurried, unheard, or misunderstood in your health journey, know that there’s another way.

At our integrative fertility center in Chennai, we’re building a space where your story, your pace, and your emotional truth matters.

Because medicine is not just about cures. It’s about connection.

And healing is not just about “fixing.” It’s about feeling.

And as for me - I wasn’t always this patient. But I’m forever grateful that I am now.