“The Missing Skill in Most Medical Training — EMPATHY”

 “The Missing Skill in Most Medical Training - EMPATHY”

A gynecologist’s perspective from the heart of holistic care in Chennai

Why empathy isn’t just a soft skill, but the soul of real medical care

“I was trained to diagnose.”

To treat.

To manage complications.

To calculate risks, read reports, and stay clinically sharp.

But no one ever taught me how to sit beside a woman who just lost her pregnancy - and simply be human.”

The Truth About Medical Training: Clinical, Not Emotional

In most medical colleges - no matter where in the world you train - the curriculum is dense with facts.

We learn:

• How to detect anomalies on an ultrasound.

• How to manage labor progression.

• How to identify hormonal imbalances.

• How to calculate risks and success rates in assisted reproduction.

We graduate with knowledge that saves lives. And we’re grateful for that.

But what we often don’t graduate with is the ability to hold space for emotion.

We aren’t taught:

• How to tell a hopeful couple that their IVF cycle failed.

• How to look into the eyes of a woman miscarrying at 11 weeks and hold her hand without offering false reassurance.

• How to sit with discomfort, grief, and silence - without rushing to “fix it.”

And in my journey as a gynecologist and fertility consultant in Chennai, this gap became painfully clear.

The Awakening: Empathy as a Missing Link in Women’s Health

When I started practicing medicine, I followed the protocol.

Diagnosis → Management → Documentation → Discharge.

But something felt incomplete.

Despite successful treatments, many patients didn’t seem relieved. Some even walked away confused or disconnected - even when the clinical outcome was positive. People don’t understand when I say - women can have a normal delivery (which is considered to be the normal, the norm, the achievement, the epic) and still feel lost, numb & depressed. 

That’s when I realized:

Women don’t just come to you with symptoms. They come with stories.

And unless you create space for those stories - your care will always fall short.

This became the foundation of what we do at The Birthwave, my holistic women’s wellness clinic in Nungambakkam, Chennai.

We’ve redefined gynecological care to include the emotional body - not just the physical.

Because empathy isn’t optional anymore. 

It’s foundational.

Why Empathy Matters More in Women’s Healthcare

Women’s health is deeply intertwined with:

• Hormones

• Emotions

• Social pressures

• Relationship dynamics

• Family expectations

• Cultural taboos 

• Silent trauma

When a woman walks into your clinic with irregular periods, it’s often not just PCOS. It could be:

• The stress of a controlling marriage

• Body image trauma

• Years of unprocessed shame

When a couple walks in for fertility counseling, they carry:

• The weight of disappointment

• The pressure from in-laws

• The fear of failure

• The grief of past losses

As a fertility specialist in Chennai, I’ve seen this up close. And I’ve realized that lab results don’t tell the full story - the patient does.

But only when you listen.

The Birthwave Philosophy: Clinical Precision + Human Compassion

At The Birthwave, we offer:

• Natural birthing support that respects women’s choices

• Functional fertility care with root-cause analysis

• Mind-body integrative support like prenatal yoga, counseling, and sound healing

• A safe space for pregnancy loss support, postpartum transition, and body literacy

But most importantly - we offer presence.

A listening ear. A warm, non-judgmental space. A hand to hold.

Because when patients say things like:

“Doctor, I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“I’m scared of getting pregnant again after my miscarriage.”

“I feel ashamed of not being able to conceive.”

They don’t need a prescription right away. They need to be seen.

And that’s where empathy becomes medicine.

What Empathy Looks Like in Daily Practice

Empathy isn’t a vague concept. It’s a skill you practice - like suturing or pelvic exams.

Here’s what it looks like in my clinic:

1. Listening Beyond Words

Sometimes a patient says “I’m fine,” but her eyes tell a different story.

Empathy is learning to listen to what isn’t being said.

2. Acknowledging the Whole Person

A woman isn’t just a uterus or a menstrual cycle. She’s a whole human being.

At The Birthwave, we look at physical, emotional, and social factors before treatment.

3. Using Language That Heals

Instead of saying:

“You failed the cycle,” we say:

“This attempt didn’t go the way we hoped - but it’s not the end.”

Words carry weight. Empathy means choosing them carefully.

4. Normalizing Emotions

Tears during consultations are normal.

So is anger. So is numbness.

Empathy means making space for emotion — without judging or rushing to fix it.

5. Respecting Birth Choices

Whether a woman chooses natural birth or cesarean, what matters most is that she feels supported, informed, and safe.

What Happens When Empathy is Missing?

When empathy is absent from gynecological care, patients experience:

• Dismissed symptoms (“It’s just stress”)

• Unexplained test results with emotional support

• Rushed appointments

• Medical gaslighting

• Birth trauma

• Fertility burnout

These aren’t just minor oversights. They’re violations of trust.

And in the long run, they affect outcomes, compliance, and well-being.

Empathy Isn’t Just Feel-Good - It’s Scientifically Backed

Studies show that empathic communication improves:

• Patient satisfaction

• Treatment adherence

• Pain perception

• Recovery outcomes

• Doctor-patient relationships

In fertility care, emotional support has been linked to:

• Reduced anxiety

• Better IUI/IVF compliance

• Higher resilience after failed cycles

Empathy changes biology.

Why Medical Schools Need to Teach Empathy

Empathy isn’t fluff. It’s a core competency that deserves structured training.

They teach:

• How to read an ECG

• How to manage shoulder dystocia

• How to write a discharge summary

But what about:

• How to break bad news?

• How to support a grieving mother?

• How to sit silently without “doing” anything - just being?

If we want to produce emotionally intelligent doctors, we need to make empathy part of the medical curriculum.

Practicing Empathy in the Heart of Chennai

In the buzzing city of Chennai, The Birthwave was born with a vision — to humanize healthcare for women.

We’re not just another OB-GYN clinic.

We’re a movement for respectful, informed, and emotionally intelligent care.

We serve:

• Women struggling with infertility

• First-time mothers looking for natural birthing options

• Teenagers navigating puberty

• Women with PCOS, endometriosis, and cycle pain

• Mothers healing after traumatic births

And our approach is simple:

Combine science with soul.

Because when we do that, we don’t just treat the body. We heal the whole woman.

Still Learning, Every Day

I’ll be honest - I didn’t always get this right.

In my early years, I was focused on being “technically perfect.”

But with every passing year, I’ve softened.

I’ve listened more.

I’ve judged less.

I’ve allowed space for tears and silence.

And I’m still learning.

Every time a woman walks into Birthwave and says, “I feel safe here,” I remember - this is the real work.

To my fellow doctors:

Don’t underestimate the power of eye contact, of not interrupting, of simply saying, “I’m here.”

To medical educators:

Empathy isn’t optional. It must be taught, practiced, and evaluated - just like any other skill.

To patients:

You deserve a doctor who sees you as more than a file or a follicle. 

Ad if you haven’t found one yet - come visit us at The Birthwave in Nungambakkam. 

We’re building a new kind of clinic. 

Where empathy is not an afterthought - it’s the foundation.

Visit The Birthwave - Holistic Women’s Health Clinic in Chennai

Natural birthing support

Functional fertility consultations

Menstrual and hormonal health

Emotional and mental health counseling

Prenatal yoga, sound healing, lifestyle medicine

📍 Location: The Birthwave, 8/15 Mahalingapuram Main Road, Nungambakkam, Chennai - 600034 

📞 Call or WhatsApp: 9840798472 

🌐 Website: www.thebirthwave.com

📸 Instagram: @birthtoremember

Because women deserve more than treatment - they deserve empathic care that sees them fully.