“I’ll Be Happy When…”
Introduction: The Never-Ending Chase
“I’ll be happy when…”
How many of us whisper this sentence to ourselves daily, consciously or not?
As a gynecologist in Chennai, I’ve lived in that sentence for years.
I’ll be happy when I get into MBBS. (Oh I was elated, even before that I was happy, but I probably didn’t know how much!)
I’ll be happy when I finish MBBS. (Honestly, my MBBS was a roller coaster ride. Took some major emotional hits, lost my mum, made some life altering decisions which did not work out)
I’ll be happy when I crack post-graduation. (Wasn’t my plan at all to stay in India, here I am. 15 years later. In India. Things you do for love!)
I’ll be happy when I get a good job. (Define a good job, my love. You just can’t. I bet)
When I build my own clinic. (Oooo.. that’s a lot of work, money and mental peace)
When I have a loyal patient base. (And this one, is a lot of pressure, trust me. Telling you like a sister)
When I earn more than I did last year. (And the numbers game. No body actually wins at this one! Let me know if you do)
When I. When I. When I.
This mindset is almost second nature to us in medicine. It’s how we were wired in medical school - chase the next exam, the next milestone, the next “achievement” that will finally let us rest.
But somewhere along the way, I paused and asked:
What if I could be happy now?
What if this version of me - the one in progress - is already enough?
The Medicine of Always More
If you’re a doctor, nurse, or anyone working in healthcare, you’ll relate to this:
The joy of saving lives is sometimes drowned out by the weight of proving your worth.
We’re trained to think our value lies in:
• The number of letters after our name
• The positions we hold
• The complicated surgeries we perform
• The money we earn
• The babies we deliver
And yes, those are valid achievements. But when they become the only markers of self-worth, we begin to forget what truly matters:
• The late night texts of ‘thank you for bringing our whole life into this world’
• The patient who said, “No one explained it to me like you did.”
• The couple who walked into your clinic broken, and walked out with hope.
Those are not milestones.
Those are moments.
And they deserve celebration.
When I launched THE BIRTHWAVE, my holistic fertility and natural birth clinic in Chennai, it was a dream years in the making.
We weren’t just building a brand. We were redefining birth stories - making them calm, connected, and human again.
But as the clinic grew, so did the expectations.
From myself. From society. From patients.
The pressure to:
• Post consistently on Instagram - this hits different. I mean, the algorithm is maddening at times. Frustrating. You just don’t have the motivation to. Just like today, I have a whole team prepared for shoot tomorrow, but I’m so bummed. And I think this is my content burn out. • Hit monthly targets - I don’t generally keep targets. But somehow, deep down my husband does that for me. And I think I’m reaching them. • Scale the team - haven’t really been at this, but in the future - yes for expansion.
• Innovate services - I was told I do things differently. From creating birthing experiences to initiating the positive birth concept in Chennai. It doesn’t just stop there.
• Be available all the time. And this is my most favourite, but kinda exhausts me as well.
Even joy started to feel like a performance. And I found myself slipping back into that old story.
“I’ll be happy when we hit X number of patients.”“I’ll be happy when our content goes viral.”
“I’ll be happy when people start taking us seriously.”
Until I caught myself.
And decided to rewrite the script.
Finding Joy in the Ordinary
One morning, I was sipping chai after a long night at the hospital.
There was nothing dramatic about that moment - no surgery, no emergency, no milestone.
Just me, a cup of tea, and a quiet heart.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt peace.
The kind of peace that doesn’t wait for a goalpost.
The kind that whispers -
“You’re doing just fine.”
That same day, a mother who had just delivered hugged me and said:
“You made me feel like my body wasn’t broken. Like I could trust it again.”
That wasn’t on any checklist.
That wasn’t part of my revenue metrics.
But it was the reason I chose this path in the first place.
Pregnancy, Pressure, and Pausing
In my practice, I often meet women who mirror my old self
“I’ll be happy when I get pregnant.”
“I’ll be happy when I pass 12 weeks.”
“I’ll be happy when I see the anomaly scan.”
“I’ll be happy when I deliver safely.”
“I’ll be happy when I lose the baby weight.”
It’s endless.
We move from one fear to another without stopping to honor the miracle that’s unfolding right now.
The heartbeat on the scan
The gentle kick at 24 weeks
The swelling feet after standing proud at work
The breath you just took, despite the nausea
As a natural birth doctor in Chennai, I’ve come to realise this:
Birth isn’t just about arrival. It’s about presence.
Presence in your body. Presence in your choices. Presence in your now.
The Truth About High-Achieving Women (Yes, You Too)
This post isn’t just for doctors.
It’s for any woman who has told herself:
“I’ll rest after this deadline.”
“I’ll start yoga after this event.”
“I’ll be proud of myself after I prove I’m enough.”
We are constantly preparing for life instead of living it.
Even in motherhood, many women are stuck in survival mode - ticking off feeding schedules, growth charts, school admissions - never stopping to say, “Hey, I’m doing a damn good job.”
If you’re reading this, I want you to do one thing:
Pause.
Acknowledge your now.
And realise that you are already becoming - even before the goal is ticked off.
A Note to My Fellow Doctors
To all my colleagues - surgeons, consultants, junior residents, OB-GYNs in training:
You’re allowed to breathe.
You’re allowed to not be available 24/7. Just do right by your patients and inform them prior. It means a lot to them.
You’re allowed to love your job and still feel tired.
You’re allowed to cry after a tough case.
You’re allowed to be proud of yourself without an award to prove it.
And most importantly -
You’re allowed to be happy now.
Not just when the world claps, but when your soul does.
The New Definition of Success
In my clinic, success looks like:
• A woman birthing on her terms
• A couple who walks in anxious and leaves empowered
• A patient who says “I felt seen, not rushed”
• A team that celebrates small wins
• A founder (me) who chooses rest without guilt
Maybe you’re reading this as a future patient. Or a fellow clinician. Or someone Googling “pregnancy care in Chennai”.
To you, I say -
Don’t wait to arrive before you allow yourself to celebrate.
Life isn’t a finish line.
It’s a series of deeply human, beautifully imperfect, always-evolving moments.
And you’re in one right now.
Final Words (And A Quiet Invitation)
So here’s what I’m choosing today:
· My morning chai
· The birth that went beautifully
· A kind word from a patient
· The messy, unfinished, still-learning version of me - with love and grace
And I invite you to do the same.
Let’s stop saying “I’ll be happy when…”
And start saying, “I’m grateful now.”
Join the Movement
If you’re looking for:
A gynecologist in Chennai who sees you beyond your diagnosis
Support for your pregnancy, fertility, or birth journey
A team that values your mind-body connection
A space where your choices matter - from prenatal yoga to VBAC to natural childbirth
A clinic that integrates medical excellence with emotional intelligence
You’re welcome at The BirthWave.
Let’s create a birth to remember, together.
Contact Us:
📍 Located in Chennai, India
📞 Book a consult: 9840798472
📱 Follow us on Instagram: @thebirthwave
Let’s Talk:
What’s something you achieved but forgot to celebrate?
Drop it in the comments below.
Let’s remind each other that even “work in progress” can be worthy of joy.
.jpg)
.jpg)
0 Comments