Do Doctors Have to Look a certain way to Be Trusted?

By Dr. Santoshi Nandigam, Holistic Gynecologist & Founder of The Birthwave, Chennai

More Than Meets the Eye

“Oh, you look so young. You don’t look like a doctor!”

That’s something I’ve heard more times than I can count.

Sometimes it’s delivered with a warm smile and curiosity. Other times, with a smirk, skepticism, or disbelief. I’ve had patients’ families nudge each other and whisper, “She looks too young.” Or, “She’s in a scrub/ formals -how is she a fertility specialist?” And the classic: “You don’t look like a doctor.”

It used to sting.

Until I realized-I wasn’t alone. And this isn’t just about me. It’s about how society still defines “professionalism” in healthcare-through visual checklists rooted in stereotypes

So today, let’s have a real conversation:

Do doctors have to look like doctors to be trusted?

First Impressions in Healthcare: A Silent Script We Don’t Talk About

In an era of patient-centric and inclusive medicine, it’s surprising how much appearances still matter.

Studies show that patients form judgments about competence and trustworthiness within seconds of meeting their healthcare provider. This is especially true in cultures like ours, where authority is often linked to age, attire, and gender roles.

We don’t talk about it enough, but we should. Because this silent script shapes patient expectations and doctor experiences-especially for women, younger practitioners, and those choosing holistic or less conventional approaches.

When You Don’t Fit the “Doctor Mold”

Here’s what I’ve observed over years of practice, especially as a gynecologist, birth worker, and fertility doctor working in an integrative setup in Chennai:

• If you’re young-looking, you’re mistaken for an intern or student.

• If you’re fashionable or expressive, you’re seen as unserious or superficial.

• If you’re soft-spoken, patients may test your authority.

• If you’re casual in appearance, people assume you lack confidence or skill.

But what exactly is this mold we’re expected to fit? And more importantly-who created it?

What Makes a “Real” Doctor? Rewriting the Narrative

Let’s challenge the assumptions:

• A surgeon’s steady hands aren’t defined by the color of their scrubs. I love hot pink and there were instances where I had to shy away from wearing them because I was afraid I would be judged. (Years ago. When I started practice, not anymore)

• A gynecologist’s expertise isn’t measured by the amount of makeup or the presence of a lab coat. I love a shiny shiny highlighter sometimes, and some other times you’ll only see me in my most pale lips. Doesn’t make me any less of a gynecologist. It’s the same me and my expertise remains the same.

• A fertility specialist’s success isn’t tied to their hairstyle, their footwear, or the size of their bindi. Most often they are expected to wear lab coats

• An anesthesiologist’s competency doesn’t fade because of tattoos (for the record, my husband, a brilliant anaesthesiologist, has a stunning one-and it’s often the first thing people notice).

Honestly, I’m an ardent believer of God Shiva and I had to think for days before I got my ‘Om Namah Sivaya’ strategically inked on my forearm. Obviously I did not want to be judged. Well, now I think you would be judged, no matter what! 🤣

So why do we let visual stereotypes dilute trust?

What True Professionalism Looks Like

Let’s talk about what really matters in a doctor-patient relationship:

Knowledge & Skill

The ability to diagnose accurately, offer evidence-based treatment, and stay updated in your field. We go through rigorous training to be able to decide for two living beings - the mum and the baby in obstetrics and and Gynecology is a world of hormones, so yeah. We learn a lot before we can play those hormones.

Empathy & Listening

Creating a safe, non-judgmental space for patients. Not just asking questions-but listening to the unspoken. When I first started practice - I promised myself that I would spend time with the patients. I wouldn’t rush into consults. And that I would not intern

Integrity & Trust

Being consistent. Showing up. Delivering care even in chaos. And keeping the patient’s well-being above all else.

These are the markers of real professionalism.

Not a stethoscope slung around the neck, not formal shoes, not a white coat.

Real Stories from the Clinic: Breaking the Bias

At The Birthwave, my integrative women’s health and fertility centre in Chennai, I’ve met hundreds of women who came to me not because of how I looked-but because of how I made them feel.

Here are some stories that have stayed with me:

✽ The Woman Who Whispered

“I honestly didn’t expect you to be the doctor… but within ten minutes, I felt more heard than I ever have in any hospital.”

She was in tears during our first session. Not because I said something profound-but because she felt safe.

✽ The Husband Who Hesitated

Her partner looked me up and down and asked, “Are you the assistant?”

I smiled. We continued with the consultation. Three months later, he said, “I’m sorry. I judged you. But I’m glad we came here.”

That’s the kind of transformation that breaks stereotypes.

The “Invisible” Bias Against Women in Medicine

This conversation isn’t just aesthetic-it’s deeply gendered.

Women doctors often have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously, especially in fields like surgery, gynecology, and emergency medicine. And if you’re running a business (like I am), the scrutiny doubles. Yes, even today!

What makes it worse? When we try to humanize ourselves-through makeup, smiles, Instagram posts, or open conversations-we’re seen as “too emotional,” “too girly,” or “not doctor-like enough.”

But here’s the truth: our empathy is our superpower. Our ability to connect is our medicine. And our appearance? That’s just a canvas-it doesn’t define our competence.

Modern Medicine Needs Modern Mindsets

Healthcare is evolving. So should our definition of what a doctor “should look like.”

You can be:

• A tattooed surgeon.

• A gynecologist in formals.

• A fertility specialist in sneakers.

• A pediatrician in pink hair.

As long as you hold knowledge, skill, and empathy-you belong.

We need to normalize visual diversity in medical spaces. Patients need to see that doctors can be human too. Expressive, real, and individual.

Patient Trust: Where Does It Actually Come From?

If you’re a patient reading this, here’s a gentle reflection:

Does your doctor make you feel safe? Heard? Respected?

That’s where the trust should come from-not whether they meet a visual checklist.

Remember, the doctor who looks different might just be the one who listens differently too.

For Medical Professionals: What You Wear Is Not Who You Are

To my fellow doctors: whether you’re in a white coat, a saree, a T-shirt, or wearing Crocs on call-you are enough.

Stop dimming your authenticity to meet outdated expectations. Your work, your care, and your presence are what define you-not your wardrobe or age or jewelry.

Why This Conversation Matters (Especially in India)

As someone practicing in Chennai, I’ve seen firsthand how visual expectations shape healthcare choices.

Patients often Google:

• “Best gynecologist in Chennai”

• “Natural birth doctor near me”

• “Young fertility specialist”

• “Is my doctor experienced enough?”

Let’s redirect those searches to real value:

→ “Does this doctor align with my beliefs?”

→ “Do I feel heard here?”

→ “Are their outcomes good, not just their outfits?”

We’re shifting into a world where natural birth, integrative care, and trust-based healing are becoming mainstream. But that shift has to begin with perception too.

Let’s Flip the Script

Instead of asking:

“Does she look like a doctor?”

Ask: “Does she care like one?”

“Is he too casual to be competent?”

Ask: “Is he present, compassionate, skilled?”

Let’s stop judging books by their white coats.

Your Turn: Let’s Start a Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts:

· Have you ever been misjudged based on how you look in your professional role?

· As a patient, has a doctor’s appearance ever impacted your trust-even subconsciously?

· Do you believe the medical profession needs more visual and emotional inclusivity?

Drop your thoughts in the comments or share this with someone who needs to hear it. Because this isn’t just about changing perceptions-it’s about changing experiences.

Final Words: Redefining the “Doctor Look”

Let’s normalize:

• Kindness over coats.

• Skill over shoes.

• Presence over polish.

Because healing doesn’t wear a uniform. And trust isn’t built with fabric-it’s built with connection.

📍 If you’re looking for:

• A compassionate gynecologist in Chennai

• Holistic pregnancy and natural birthing support

• Personalized fertility care that listens before it treats

I’d love to walk this journey with you.

Visit The Birthwave or DM me on Instagram @birthtoremember